Question of the week #6

[treonb]

The two central elements of the show are the relationship between Philip and Elizabeth and their work. They are also parents, however. 

So here's this week's question: How do you feel about the way the show treats these elements of their lives? Which elements of it work for you, and which don't?  You can expect spoilers for the entire first season in the comments.

(There's no expiration date on these questions, so if you're reading this post months later and feel like jumping in, please do.)

Comments

[soupytwist]

I totally agree - I found that glimpse at the rules that must make up the kids' lives absolutely fascinating. I do think we're supposed to think that the amount of time the kids spend alone is unhealthy, and probably unusual enough that it's going to Lead To Something.

I think there's a general theme that being a parent is in some ways fundamental incompatible with what they do (timewise, rather than emotion-wise)... but that's kind of paralleled to the way they are a family and co-workers at the same time. They can function primarily as themselves-personally or themselves-professionally, but the nature of what they do means there's no easy, obvious line where one is divided from the other, and that's a topic I find really interesting. The travel business fits that as well - there is seemingly real travel business happening there, but how exactly do Philip and Elizabeth have time to make any of that happen? I assume their staff do some and they are also doing travel-business work more of the time than we actually see, because it's not plot relevant, but that must be really difficult for them to balance, especially with the kids as well. I'd love more about that.

[treonb]

I think there's a general theme that being a parent is in some ways fundamental incompatible with what they do (timewise, rather than emotion-wise)

Elizabeth does seem to be a super-mom: she's raising a family, running a business and doing all the spy stuff on the side. The business part seems to be the only thing running smoothly, though.

[soupytwist]

She certainly tries to - my immediate thought when she used "folding the ironing" as an excuse and then it turned out she really had folded the ironing was "holy crap of course she had to do that at 3am because when else would she have TIME?!" haha. But yeah, I definitely think it's a tenuous balance at best, and I'm expecting next season to show some of it come tumbling down (or at least start to).

[jae]

I think that would be a fascinating turn for the show to take, for sure. And that's definitely the best approach to take with it, too--folding the kids into the marriage and spy storylines rather than trying to make them a third and separate element.

-J

[treonb]

"holy crap of course she had to do that at 3am because when else would she have TIME?!" haha.

LOL! Poor Elizabeth. They should bring that up at some point, I think it became an issue during the 80s as women moved into career building.

[jae]

I get the idea that they've arranged things so that they're mostly managers at the travel business these days, and absent ones at that. Because you're right, they would have had time pre-Reagan to raise kids and be spies AND have a cover career, but not so much now.

-J

[soupytwist]

Definitely, when they were very small particularly there just wouldn't have been any other option! Small hungry/tired/soiled children don't wait! Unless maybe the KGB paid for a nanny for some of that time, but I am guessing a nanny would not be at the top of their budget priorities.

(and oh god your comment about how Elizabeth must have haaaated that? YES THAT. YES. It is totally canon to me that at least a decent chunk of why she experienced their early lives in America so very differently from Philip was that she got stuck at home with the children a lot of the time and just SEETHED with resentment about the whole thing. Maybe not even consciously so much, since as their mum I think it's clear that she's taken on board some of the traditional ideas about what a motherly role requires, even if most of those ideas don't apply to her at all, but still. God, I am just cringing with sympathy on her behalf. And I still kind of think that the having kids together is the creepiest bit of the KGB Marriage deal. (I don't think she'd have had any at all if that hadn't been required, gah.)

(Also I wonder how much of the laundry/cleaning/cooking etc Philip did as a member of the family... my feeling is more than some, but not half.)

[jae]

It is totally canon to me that at least a decent chunk of why she experienced their early lives in America so very differently from Philip was that she got stuck at home with the children a lot of the time and just SEETHED with resentment about the whole thing.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. She wouldn't have been overtly and consciously feminist about it (because of the way her culture viewed feminism), but she would have hated that role SO MUCH and felt SO TRAPPED.

Also, ahem, just as an aside, you will beta my current story-in-progress when I have a draft, right? Because, yes. :)

Also I wonder how much of the laundry/cleaning/cooking etc Philip did as a member of the family... my feeling is more than some, but not half.

We actually SEE him doing very little around the house IN THE EPISODES. It's even commented on a few times, though of course not nearly as much as it would be in 2013.

My feeling is that he does things for her only when he wants something from her (or when he's pulling his misguided chivalry/overprotective schtick), and that they're not always the things she would want him to do anyway. I love love love Philip, but he's guy and a product of his two cultures.

-J

[soupytwist]

She really REALLY REALLY would, omg.

(And ahem, I would LOVE TO, yes please! Send away anything you like whenever you like!)

My feeling is that he does things for her only when he wants something from her (or when he's pulling his misguided chivalry/overprotective schtick), and that they're not always the things she would want him to do anyway.

Oh, ow, yeah, I can see that. Him doing, say, the laundry is A Gesture - her doing it is expected.

[jae]

(Hurray, thank you! One less Beta Problem to worry about...though there are still plenty, see my upcoming writing journal update. :/)

-J

[soupytwist]

(No worries! I'm always thrilled to hear from you/about your work, so please do consider that a standing offer! Especially if it can solve a Problem, although I'm sorry to hear there are more! You deserve a break!)

[treonb]

My feeling is that he does things for her only when he wants something from her (or when he's pulling his misguided chivalry/overprotective schtick)

And in our case, forcing Elizabeth to be the stay-at-home mom is exactly the overprotective thing to do. Just like in the finale, I can see them arguing over who's going to do X or Y, and then Philip slips out the back and leaves Elizabeth with the children.