Oh, I totally agree. I didn't mean to imply, if it seemed like I did, that there a whole self who existed and could be recovered if Philip worked at it. When I said they were more integrated now I was more just saying that they seem to be spending way more time than they would have in the past being in both worlds at once, not just because of the professional stuff going on, but because they're neither of them in love with the Philip and Elizabeth that their neighbors know. They're in love with the person they know, who is a spy.
So it’s like they have to create a new everyday identity that takes pieces from more places. If the marriage is "real" than it's not these two people playing the roles of Mr. and Mrs. Jennings, suburbanites. Of course they've also always interacted as partners as well as spouses, but it's a whole new thing what they're doing now, one that brings more aspects of their spy life into their home life and even more importantly, adds bits of their backgrounds, the most important and first part of that being Elizabeth's rape. Knowing that info puts the whole current woman in a different perspective as does knowing about Gregory.
But your post really makes me see the episode as even more beautifully cohesive in the way it's set up--which I will of course now elaborate on to great length!
Elizabeth is now "learning to feel again" but recovering that part of herself isn't going to resurrect the girl or the feelings of the girl she was at 17. She's been changed by experience and age. It's kind of like you said re: Philip--there's stagnation and she has to learn to do it again. With Philip, I don't think there's a core self who's the guy he was when he was 17 either, but it seems like what he's learning to do (or maybe will start to learn to do—he’s not doing it yet) where Elizabeth is learning to feel is to learn to be somewhat authentic, which he maybe doesn't know how to do anymore either. "Authentic" in this case doesn't mean Russian or Misha, but it does incorporate those things in ways he probably hasn't done in a while, except in certain situations.
That's why I think it was such a big moment when he even says something like "I like the cold." This is a character who is so completely the opposite of consistent Elizabeth. She can be so clear about her motivations and perspective and beliefs. She explains exactly where she's coming from and why as best she understands it. It's got to be intentional that Philip is so the opposite of that, so even his flashback ep says nothing about him. His true motivations sometimes seem even hidden to himself. So the few times he actually expresses a personal preference or hurt with no pragmatic reason seems so important. And this ep just seemed to underline in so many ways that he was accessing something that was very new--like not just the things he was feeling were new but the reasons he was feeling them were new.
To support that idea I go to the larger themes in the ep that came up over and over. There was a big trend in this ep of people trying to understand and claim their identity for no one other than themselves. Paige seeks places to "put it all"-i.e., make sense of all her feelings as a consistent whole, Elizabeth is trying to learn how to feel again, Sandra is doing soul retrieval to find parts of herself that are lost. Sandra wasn't doing it to win Stan back, Elizabeth wasn't doing it to be a good wife, Paige wasn't doing it because of her mother. Really everybody in the ep except those strictly involved in advancing plot (which I'd say Stan, Oleg and even Nina and Arkady mostly were) were wrestling with these questions of fragmented and lost identity and looking for ways to organize their whole selves in different ways—Elizabeth played out some things with Brad, Paige turned to organized religion, Sandra was drawing.
But at the center of the whole dang thing we have Philip NOT doing that. On the contrary, he’s avoiding it. Maybe doesn’t even get it. Granted, he’s not in the best situation to be doing so—he’s very much at work. But it’s more than that. And let’s face it, even when he’s at home he doesn’t express interest in it. Writing this now I actually find myself wondering—has Philip even ever agreed with Elizabeth’s desire that the marriage be “real?” I mean, putting it in those words? The one time I remember him talking about it was at the end of D&H when she asked if it could be real and he said “I don’t know.” We know he loves Elizabeth and wants her to love him, but does he have the same concerns about it not being “real” in the context of the “fake” marriage? It doesn’t seem to bother him. Maybe that’s actually a common misunderstanding of that line. People took it as Philip saying he didn’t know if he and Elizabeth could make this work when he really meant that of course they could, but he didn’t know if anything was real, because he maybe doesn’t know if anything can be real or what that means.
So again, at the center of this whole ep is Philip—in fact, there’s multiple Philip’s and lots of moments set up to show how he’s perceived by different people. (Not that this is limited to Philip in this ep—we also have Stan bemused by Sandra, Elizabeth by Paige, Elizabeth by Brad, Jennifer by Martha etc.) But it seems most intense with Philip. Kate fangirls him and he doesn’t even get why she’s talking about him. Then we’ve got Jennifer and Martha talking about Clark.
Martha specifically brings up how Clark is contradictory. I mean, let’s marvel for a second at the beautiful complexity of the scene, which is like a set of nesting dolls. Martha thinks she knows Clark. Elizabeth, who knows who Clark ‘really’ is shows up as Jennifer. Jennifer and Martha have a conversation where they both at different times claim superior knowledge of Clark—Jennifer as his sister knows how he’s “always been” and how he “is with everyone.” Martha as his wife knows how he is in bed which Jennifer of course “wouldn’t know.” If we stopped there the joke would be that of course Jennifer does know, because she's slept with Clark--the "real" Clark--Philip.
But instead Elizabeth’s thrown for a loop when Martha gives details. Suddenly Elizabeth’s having someone else tell her about her own husband in ways that surprise her. In some ways she’s just as in the dark as Martha!
Then we’ve got Anton who has his own view of Philip as a monster, someone with no humanity. We see that Philip does have humanity, but it’s unclear what Philip thinks about the actual charges here. We know he doesn’t like being cruel, but Anton’s line about “whoever you once were” is obviously chosen to echo the slightly different theme of a core identity/soul.
Most of all we’ve got Yossi who tackles this issue straight on. He continually compares himself to Philip as a spy: Yossi knows where his home is, he goes home for Passover, he knows where he’d want to be buried, he references his mother and his family history, he doesn’t hide who he is. Over and over he tries to draw Philip out about his “real” identity and hits a total brick wall—until, of course, we get this surprising statement from Philip that’s a) the most basic of personal preferences, b) specifically attached to the Soviet Union by context c) specifically tied to his early memories in later context and d) seemingly said more for himself than for Yossi. Sure one could argue that it’s in response to Yossi’s statement about the weather in the USSR, but Philip feels no need to say something similar about Soviet Communism. Plus the way it’s delivered and followed up (by Philip relapsing into his own silent thoughts and non-reaction to Yossi’s further taunts) and Yossi’s own somewhat startled reaction really marks it out as different for me. And that’s even before we add the show’s rare objective (imo) validation that something else is going on here (because with Phil we really need it) with the Russian flashback music. All of which leads up to Philip later offering up a unique memory about childhood.
In light of that, I feel like his “I remember” is really significant. Obviously it’s a rejection and a correction to his earlier “I don’t remember” regarding the exact same thing to Yossi. But in a larger context I feel like it’s not so much just something he can admit only to Elizabeth as his partner but almost the start of something new. Because for years “not remembering” has been his every day state—he’s Philip and Philip doesn’t have that past. But him saying the words now is like...well, it could be just revealing that even the person who avoids his true self actually has one, the end. Or (my preference) it could also be like Elizabeth’s confession to Brad that she’s trying to learn how to feel again, but she fears she’s too old. It’s a tentative step rather than just the “real” answer about who Philip is and what he remembers. Does that make sense?
Because given how clearly Philip seemed to be marked out in this ep as having lost touch with “whoever he once was” or “who he is,” coupled with how clearly he’s marked out as the one person who seems to be not asking himself that question, it seems like it would be more of an ongoing thing rather than Philip “discovering” himself or "revealing" his true self through a simple memory about icicles. It’s like what Philip discovers in the ep isn’t his “real self” but the idea that this could be something he could have—or that other people have that he could be missing. His sword fighting memory is less “this is who I am” than “I found a piece of something and I don’t really know what to do with it.” But he keeps it--with Elizabeth's blessing--and it means something, even as he starts another day as Philip. By sharing it he doesn’t just let it go again.
All of which is like the opposite of what I felt was the idea of Genevieve’s version, because that seemed to be saying that Philip totally knew who he was and had a true self, and he just knew that true self didn’t want to be in the KGB and felt more American. But I think it is in line with what you’re saying, that this goes to the heart of the type of person Philip is and the effect this kind of living would have on him (and why he’s so good at it). He would always have been like this, but this makes it even more extreme. It’s not just that Philip isn’t American because he’s Russian, it’s that any time you say anything too definitive about what Philip is you’re likely wrong.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: "I like the cold"/"I remember"
Date: 2014-03-29 07:27 pm (UTC)So it’s like they have to create a new everyday identity that takes pieces from more places. If the marriage is "real" than it's not these two people playing the roles of Mr. and Mrs. Jennings, suburbanites. Of course they've also always interacted as partners as well as spouses, but it's a whole new thing what they're doing now, one that brings more aspects of their spy life into their home life and even more importantly, adds bits of their backgrounds, the most important and first part of that being Elizabeth's rape. Knowing that info puts the whole current woman in a different perspective as does knowing about Gregory.
But your post really makes me see the episode as even more beautifully cohesive in the way it's set up--which I will of course now elaborate on to great length!
Elizabeth is now "learning to feel again" but recovering that part of herself isn't going to resurrect the girl or the feelings of the girl she was at 17. She's been changed by experience and age. It's kind of like you said re: Philip--there's stagnation and she has to learn to do it again. With Philip, I don't think there's a core self who's the guy he was when he was 17 either, but it seems like what he's learning to do (or maybe will start to learn to do—he’s not doing it yet) where Elizabeth is learning to feel is to learn to be somewhat authentic, which he maybe doesn't know how to do anymore either. "Authentic" in this case doesn't mean Russian or Misha, but it does incorporate those things in ways he probably hasn't done in a while, except in certain situations.
That's why I think it was such a big moment when he even says something like "I like the cold." This is a character who is so completely the opposite of consistent Elizabeth. She can be so clear about her motivations and perspective and beliefs. She explains exactly where she's coming from and why as best she understands it. It's got to be intentional that Philip is so the opposite of that, so even his flashback ep says nothing about him. His true motivations sometimes seem even hidden to himself. So the few times he actually expresses a personal preference or hurt with no pragmatic reason seems so important. And this ep just seemed to underline in so many ways that he was accessing something that was very new--like not just the things he was feeling were new but the reasons he was feeling them were new.
To support that idea I go to the larger themes in the ep that came up over and over. There was a big trend in this ep of people trying to understand and claim their identity for no one other than themselves. Paige seeks places to "put it all"-i.e., make sense of all her feelings as a consistent whole, Elizabeth is trying to learn how to feel again, Sandra is doing soul retrieval to find parts of herself that are lost. Sandra wasn't doing it to win Stan back, Elizabeth wasn't doing it to be a good wife, Paige wasn't doing it because of her mother. Really everybody in the ep except those strictly involved in advancing plot (which I'd say Stan, Oleg and even Nina and Arkady mostly were) were wrestling with these questions of fragmented and lost identity and looking for ways to organize their whole selves in different ways—Elizabeth played out some things with Brad, Paige turned to organized religion, Sandra was drawing.
But at the center of the whole dang thing we have Philip NOT doing that. On the contrary, he’s avoiding it. Maybe doesn’t even get it. Granted, he’s not in the best situation to be doing so—he’s very much at work. But it’s more than that. And let’s face it, even when he’s at home he doesn’t express interest in it. Writing this now I actually find myself wondering—has Philip even ever agreed with Elizabeth’s desire that the marriage be “real?” I mean, putting it in those words? The one time I remember him talking about it was at the end of D&H when she asked if it could be real and he said “I don’t know.” We know he loves Elizabeth and wants her to love him, but does he have the same concerns about it not being “real” in the context of the “fake” marriage? It doesn’t seem to bother him. Maybe that’s actually a common misunderstanding of that line. People took it as Philip saying he didn’t know if he and Elizabeth could make this work when he really meant that of course they could, but he didn’t know if anything was real, because he maybe doesn’t know if anything can be real or what that means.
So again, at the center of this whole ep is Philip—in fact, there’s multiple Philip’s and lots of moments set up to show how he’s perceived by different people. (Not that this is limited to Philip in this ep—we also have Stan bemused by Sandra, Elizabeth by Paige, Elizabeth by Brad, Jennifer by Martha etc.) But it seems most intense with Philip. Kate fangirls him and he doesn’t even get why she’s talking about him. Then we’ve got Jennifer and Martha talking about Clark.
Martha specifically brings up how Clark is contradictory. I mean, let’s marvel for a second at the beautiful complexity of the scene, which is like a set of nesting dolls. Martha thinks she knows Clark. Elizabeth, who knows who Clark ‘really’ is shows up as Jennifer. Jennifer and Martha have a conversation where they both at different times claim superior knowledge of Clark—Jennifer as his sister knows how he’s “always been” and how he “is with everyone.” Martha as his wife knows how he is in bed which Jennifer of course “wouldn’t know.” If we stopped there the joke would be that of course Jennifer does know, because she's slept with Clark--the "real" Clark--Philip.
But instead Elizabeth’s thrown for a loop when Martha gives details. Suddenly Elizabeth’s having someone else tell her about her own husband in ways that surprise her. In some ways she’s just as in the dark as Martha!
Then we’ve got Anton who has his own view of Philip as a monster, someone with no humanity. We see that Philip does have humanity, but it’s unclear what Philip thinks about the actual charges here. We know he doesn’t like being cruel, but Anton’s line about “whoever you once were” is obviously chosen to echo the slightly different theme of a core identity/soul.
Most of all we’ve got Yossi who tackles this issue straight on. He continually compares himself to Philip as a spy: Yossi knows where his home is, he goes home for Passover, he knows where he’d want to be buried, he references his mother and his family history, he doesn’t hide who he is. Over and over he tries to draw Philip out about his “real” identity and hits a total brick wall—until, of course, we get this surprising statement from Philip that’s a) the most basic of personal preferences, b) specifically attached to the Soviet Union by context c) specifically tied to his early memories in later context and d) seemingly said more for himself than for Yossi. Sure one could argue that it’s in response to Yossi’s statement about the weather in the USSR, but Philip feels no need to say something similar about Soviet Communism. Plus the way it’s delivered and followed up (by Philip relapsing into his own silent thoughts and non-reaction to Yossi’s further taunts) and Yossi’s own somewhat startled reaction really marks it out as different for me. And that’s even before we add the show’s rare objective (imo) validation that something else is going on here (because with Phil we really need it) with the Russian flashback music. All of which leads up to Philip later offering up a unique memory about childhood.
In light of that, I feel like his “I remember” is really significant. Obviously it’s a rejection and a correction to his earlier “I don’t remember” regarding the exact same thing to Yossi. But in a larger context I feel like it’s not so much just something he can admit only to Elizabeth as his partner but almost the start of something new. Because for years “not remembering” has been his every day state—he’s Philip and Philip doesn’t have that past. But him saying the words now is like...well, it could be just revealing that even the person who avoids his true self actually has one, the end. Or (my preference) it could also be like Elizabeth’s confession to Brad that she’s trying to learn how to feel again, but she fears she’s too old. It’s a tentative step rather than just the “real” answer about who Philip is and what he remembers. Does that make sense?
Because given how clearly Philip seemed to be marked out in this ep as having lost touch with “whoever he once was” or “who he is,” coupled with how clearly he’s marked out as the one person who seems to be not asking himself that question, it seems like it would be more of an ongoing thing rather than Philip “discovering” himself or "revealing" his true self through a simple memory about icicles. It’s like what Philip discovers in the ep isn’t his “real self” but the idea that this could be something he could have—or that other people have that he could be missing. His sword fighting memory is less “this is who I am” than “I found a piece of something and I don’t really know what to do with it.” But he keeps it--with Elizabeth's blessing--and it means something, even as he starts another day as Philip. By sharing it he doesn’t just let it go again.
All of which is like the opposite of what I felt was the idea of Genevieve’s version, because that seemed to be saying that Philip totally knew who he was and had a true self, and he just knew that true self didn’t want to be in the KGB and felt more American. But I think it is in line with what you’re saying, that this goes to the heart of the type of person Philip is and the effect this kind of living would have on him (and why he’s so good at it). He would always have been like this, but this makes it even more extreme. It’s not just that Philip isn’t American because he’s Russian, it’s that any time you say anything too definitive about what Philip is you’re likely wrong.