Maybe her entire self-image is so centered on being an ideological warrior that she simply can't see any point to just being herself. It's not that she doesn't value a normal life. Perhaps she doesn't value herself living a normal life. She sees no value or purpose in just living a normal, ideologically uniformed life.
In the story I wrote about Elizabeth, I took her back to the time (which we know about from Gregory) that she left Philip briefly when she was heavily pregnant with Paige, and this was pretty much exactly my take on how she would have felt then. A huge part of her really, really WANTED that normal life, more than she ever had before, but she had such huge self-loathing about that desire and felt like it made her weak and less of the great ideological warrior she thought she had to be. (Which is, of course, why she would have gone right back to Philip the next day.)
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Replacing family
Date: 2018-04-09 02:34 pm (UTC)In the story I wrote about Elizabeth, I took her back to the time (which we know about from Gregory) that she left Philip briefly when she was heavily pregnant with Paige, and this was pretty much exactly my take on how she would have felt then. A huge part of her really, really WANTED that normal life, more than she ever had before, but she had such huge self-loathing about that desire and felt like it made her weak and less of the great ideological warrior she thought she had to be. (Which is, of course, why she would have gone right back to Philip the next day.)
-J