Even if she does have a breakthrough and realizes that she has a right to just live out a normal life like everyone else, there's no guarantee that will happen.
I wonder about Elizabeth's exact head space now. That is, is it that she doesn't think she has the right to live a normal life? Or that she doesn't value one? It seems like at the moment her justification isn't guilty at not doing this but the idea that it makes her life superior to others. (I mean this is what she's telling herself rather than necessarily what she really thinks.)
Of course we've seen that she can value normal life. It seems like maybe that's where she's gotten the real joy in her lie. But she's in a bad place now, probably doubling down on all the decisions she's made to get here, and that's the sort of thing that's coming out of her mouth. Like when she can't believe the artist would waste her life making art--though she seems almost afraid of the art.
It may seem like the difference doesn't matter but it makes a difference to how she works through it. Especially if, as was mentioned in the above comments, at the heart of it is the feeling she's not worthy of love if she lets go.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Replacing family
Date: 2018-04-09 12:52 am (UTC)I wonder about Elizabeth's exact head space now. That is, is it that she doesn't think she has the right to live a normal life? Or that she doesn't value one? It seems like at the moment her justification isn't guilty at not doing this but the idea that it makes her life superior to others. (I mean this is what she's telling herself rather than necessarily what she really thinks.)
Of course we've seen that she can value normal life. It seems like maybe that's where she's gotten the real joy in her lie. But she's in a bad place now, probably doubling down on all the decisions she's made to get here, and that's the sort of thing that's coming out of her mouth. Like when she can't believe the artist would waste her life making art--though she seems almost afraid of the art.
It may seem like the difference doesn't matter but it makes a difference to how she works through it. Especially if, as was mentioned in the above comments, at the heart of it is the feeling she's not worthy of love if she lets go.