Question of the week #7

[treonb]

The marriage at the centre of the show is the one between Philip and Elizabeth, but there's another marriage that looms large as well: the one between Stan and Sandra. Both marriages have problems.

So here's this week's question: To what extent are those problems similar, or are they entirely different?  You can expect spoilers for the entire first season in the comments.

(There's no expiration date on these questions, so if you're reading this post months later and feel like jumping in, please do.)

Comments

[treonb]

I think it took a few episodes till they got more into it, but I like how the show compares the 'fake' and 'real' marriages, because in many ways, the Beemans' marriage is just as fake, if not more. Stan hasn't been home in years and now that he is, he has no idea how to rebuild the relationship.

While for the Jennings sleeping around with sources isn't 'cheating', both marriages are currently suffering from real affairs (Sandra's the only one who hasn't gone for it yet), and the response of both sides is the same. It's a breach of trust in all cases.

There are secrets in both families, but while for the Jennings it's a secret of who they are that they're keeping from the kids, for the Beemans - Stan can't share his work with his wife. And in that sense their marriage is even more problematic.

[soupytwist]

Yeah, agreed - both marriages have massive problems with honesty and trust, but my feeling is that the Jennings at least have something closer to equality in that, in as much as they're both equally secretive/restrained. For the Beemans, Stan has all the power: unless they're holding out on us, Sandra doesn't have any real secrets from Stan, but he has a whole load of things he isn't telling her about.

I also think, relatedly, that the Jennings' work partnership makes a massive difference. They may have secrets, but they also have shared experience which binds them together - years worth of it - which the Beemans don't.

[jae]

I also think, relatedly, that the Jennings' work partnership makes a massive difference. They may have secrets, but they also have shared experience which binds them together - years worth of it - which the Beemans don't.

Yes, this is totally relevant. The Jennings' romantic connection grows out of their work in a way; the work awesomeness came before the relationship awesomeness. Sandra sensed this and commented on it in one episode, too, thinking it was about the travel business. She envies them their work connection because it's Stan's work--everything he's done that he can't or won't tell her--that comes between them.

-J

[treonb]

On the other hand, working together can also ruin a marriage. Philip and Elizabeth are not just working together, their job requires them to trust their partner with their life. I think that is why their 'marriage' will be strong no matter what. Elizabeth can kick Philip out of the house, but when it really matters, she knows she can trust him.

[jae]

She knows she can trust him professionally, for sure. She's still not sure she can trust him personally, and I think that's fair. But I think they'll make it work. Because you're right--that's a damn solid basis to build the foundation of a relationship on, whatever other obstacles might be standing in their way.

-J

[treonb]

That's a good point about the power balance, I didn't think about that.

As for the work partnership giving them years of experience - technically, if Stan would have been around for his family, he would have had that experience too. Raising a family and everything around that gives you a lot of shared experience that binds you together.