I can buy all of what you say about Philip and Irina here. And whether or not they would have had sex, them seeing each other again was always going to be fraught with all sorts of tiny betrayals on the emotional level, at the very least (which Elizabeth of course could see for herself before he left, which is why she was so distraught while he was gone). Incidentally, I actually also read Irina's manipulations as being less personally motivated than directed from above (i.e. as a test to see if she could get him to run away, so that their superiors could find out more about his loyalties post-torture). Not that that matters for the betrayal, but it's another layer.
I should probably warn you that you and I have rather different takes on Gregory and Elizabeth's relationship with him, though. I mean, like you I'm totally rooting for Elizabeth and Philip in 1981 (just in case you end up doubting where my loyalties lie once you read my story-to-come...which I hope you don't end up hating! how do you feel about other canon-compliant takes in fanfiction that don't entirely jive with your own?) but at the same time, I also think Gregory was exactly what she needed back when she met him, and that she really genuinely loved him. A decade-plus on, she's in the middle of realizing that she can have equally strong feelings for someone who she knows intuitively like the back of her hand, who she's raised kids with, who shares her cultural background (if not her political ideals), and so of course she's going to choose that (I mean, I think the speed with which she ends things with Gregory after things start developing with Philip in 1981 is very telling). But it wasn't always like that, and my take definitely involves very real feelings from her toward Gregory, even though she never let him in in the way she does later with Philip. I also think Gregory genuinely does think Philip is bad for her, too, so I see his behaviour toward her as more than just self-interest.
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I should probably warn you that you and I have rather different takes on Gregory and Elizabeth's relationship with him, though. I mean, like you I'm totally rooting for Elizabeth and Philip in 1981 (just in case you end up doubting where my loyalties lie once you read my story-to-come...which I hope you don't end up hating! how do you feel about other canon-compliant takes in fanfiction that don't entirely jive with your own?) but at the same time, I also think Gregory was exactly what she needed back when she met him, and that she really genuinely loved him. A decade-plus on, she's in the middle of realizing that she can have equally strong feelings for someone who she knows intuitively like the back of her hand, who she's raised kids with, who shares her cultural background (if not her political ideals), and so of course she's going to choose that (I mean, I think the speed with which she ends things with Gregory after things start developing with Philip in 1981 is very telling). But it wasn't always like that, and my take definitely involves very real feelings from her toward Gregory, even though she never let him in in the way she does later with Philip. I also think Gregory genuinely does think Philip is bad for her, too, so I see his behaviour toward her as more than just self-interest.
-J