I think in Martha's case it's more that she justified it rather than didn't notice it. I mean, the secrecy and lying has always not only been part of the relationship it's been part of the appeal. Even in his original cover story Philip was somebody she was breaking the rules of security by seeing. And Martha's broken some rules without even being asked--like by bringing home the files. But yet when the bug was found she suddenly acted like she'd been caught doing something really scary bad.