Well, when I said I didn't think it made sense to interpret her as violating protocols, I was specifically responding to your comment that "allowing Gregory to know her real name and to tell him personal details about her kids was a real risk, and it was a selfish thing to do because like you said, he easily could've been an FBI plant." I think it's very clear that everyone involved (Philip, their handlers, the Center) is okay with Gregory knowing her cover name and the fact that she has a family, and that in turn must mean they have reason to believe he's not an FBI plant. (And of course, if he had been an FBI plant, it wouldn't have mattered whether they were in a romantic relationship or not--it would have been just as dangerous either way.)
The romantic relationship itself, though--that I could see being a violation of...something? Probably not official protocols, because it's not the sort of thing that could be forbidden in their jobs, really. Someone like Elizabeth HAS to be able to have sex with someone like Gregory (I mean, Philip is clearly not violating any sorts of protocols with Martha), so you can't outright forbid "fraternization" with someone lower down the totem pole like you can in other kinds of jobs, and I'm sure the KGB isn't naive enough about these things to have it as an actual written rule that their agents are not permitted to have certain kinds of feelings. Behaviours you can make rules about, feelings not so much.
But just the very fact that Claudia doesn't seem to know that they were lovers during "Only You" (my read is that she suspects but has never been told) suggests that Elizabeth had reason not to tell her. So that could be very easily read as Elizabeth having violated some unwritten rule (or at least an ideal) by getting her feelings involved.
Re: Elizabeth's rule following exceptions
The romantic relationship itself, though--that I could see being a violation of...something? Probably not official protocols, because it's not the sort of thing that could be forbidden in their jobs, really. Someone like Elizabeth HAS to be able to have sex with someone like Gregory (I mean, Philip is clearly not violating any sorts of protocols with Martha), so you can't outright forbid "fraternization" with someone lower down the totem pole like you can in other kinds of jobs, and I'm sure the KGB isn't naive enough about these things to have it as an actual written rule that their agents are not permitted to have certain kinds of feelings. Behaviours you can make rules about, feelings not so much.
But just the very fact that Claudia doesn't seem to know that they were lovers during "Only You" (my read is that she suspects but has never been told) suggests that Elizabeth had reason not to tell her. So that could be very easily read as Elizabeth having violated some unwritten rule (or at least an ideal) by getting her feelings involved.
-J